Q:
Hello – this year I turn 50 and would like to check out of my corporate cubicle. I would like to work part time – but living in Southern California is very expensive. I am not eligible for full retirement for another 12 years. I have worked for the same company for 20 years – and will need to continue to produce income – but the daily grind is starting to take its toll. Appreciate any ideas or suggestions. Thank you. G.G. [note: this is a question I’ve gotten in many times in various forms, this one(seen on AARP board) is consise & specific, I wanted to expand on my response and have posted both here]

Well, I’m back after a week of the latest virus. As I’ve been catching up, I found myself using a particular phrase, “back to the land of the living.” Ironic, since this is the time of the year, the end of May that my husband Jim passed away. My body remembers before the rest of me – I begin to feel down, and little things make me want to cry(more than usual, even) and this ache rises up – I stop and ask myself, “What has gotten in to you Katie!!” Then I answer(yes, it’s only polite) “Oh, Jim, remember? Of course.” He’s now gone, 4-times as long as we were together, so little time. Shouldn’t it be easier? Grief is like that. Apparently gone, then rising again.

So, then I just remember, how we loved just to sit together on the porch & talk & talk, how hard he worked, how much he respected & believed in me, how he liked to hear me sing in the car, how he’d tell me silly stories, when I didn’t think I could sleep, and most of all how much I loved him. Yes, I cry, over all we lost and all we might have had, but I remember too that I would do all over again. At 50 something I don’t know, if a man’s love is a blessing the Lord will send me, now. I do know, that God won’t let me go to waste! I now call those first few years after Jim’s passing, “an extended hiatus” — Webster defines hiatus: n. A gap or interruption in space, time, or discontinuity; a break.
As soon as I first said it I new it was just that, I’m ME again, only better because of everything. Grief is like that too, you learn to live with it and beyond it and you’re stronger. And now I’m back to land of the living, and where there’s work to be done, friendships to be developed, family to be nutured and things to be said!

Meryl Runion in her blog “…I just knew there were a hundred things I wish I had said to him while I still had the chance. I just knew something had gone horribly wrong, and I couldn’t change it. I just knew I didn’t ever want to find myself in that kind of darkness again.I had been living in a land of make-believe. I didn’t want to see, but I knew I had to. I hit the wall and my eyes were being forced open. Not that I woke-up all at once in that moment. I was in too much shock to see what was right in front of me all at once.

If you’ve already had your wake-up call, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve already had your wake-up call, you’ve learned that the only way out is to walk straight through things you would rather avoid with an open heart and mind and honest communication. It may be too alarming to face it all at once – after all, that’s why you would rather avoid it. But if you don’t find the truth, it will find you.

If you haven’t had your wake-up call, I hope I can be your wake-up call. It’s a lot easier if you open your eyes and start telling the truth before you and the wall collide.”

Beautifully put and I agree wholeheartedly!

Creativity is a much needed skill today, whether in your business, your club, your home, your life. We are ALL creative, truly, this is a great way to tap into your own unique creativity.

THINK LIKE A KID
Children love to play. To them, everything is a game. And if you watch them play, one of their favorite games is “Yes, and…” This is a game where kids fully use their imagination. The game starts with the first kid concocting a scenario. Let’s say, making your fingers into a gun, pointing it at another person and saying, “I’m zapping you with my laser beam.” The next person then says, “Yes, and…” and builds on what the previous person said. So, the second child may say, “yes, and… I am wearing my mirror suit so that it bounces back at you.” And the game continues going back and forth between two or more children. Very simple, and the game can go on for hours.

Interestingly, if you watch adults play this game, they are more likely to respond with “yeah, but” rather than “yes, and.” Instead of contributing back, they shoot down the previous idea. So, if the first adult makes his fingers into a gun, points it at his friend, and says, “I’m zapping you with my laser beam,” the next adult would probably fall over and say, “I’m dead”. Not much of a contribution, and the game would end quite quickly. Adults often see all of the reasons why things won’t work. They put the “NO” in innovation.

So, be a kid, and keep the play alive. Therefore, the next time you have a problem to solve, like inventing the next hot design for a toilet, try this game. Have one person throw out the first idea, and then continue with, “Yes, and…”, building on the previous idea. The key is to answer quickly and avoid thinking too much. Top-of-head answers tend to tap into a part of the brain we don’t use during our normal thinking process. And be sure that your answer is a contribution. It should build on what the previous person said rather than invalidate it.

You will develop many new ideas over the course of play. Many of the ideas will be duds. But don’t worry. Play with it. Have fun. You never know when a real gem will be found. After all, it is only a game. And over time, this will become a normal mode of operating. You will become the master at breakthrough thinking on a regular basis by building on the ideas of others.

Dan Pink says in his book, A Whole New Mind – “The future belongs to a very different kind of person with a very different kind of mind. The era of “left brain” dominance, and the Information Age that it engendered, are giving way to a new world in which “right brain” qualities-inventiveness, empathy, meaning-predominate.”